I knew dealing with brokers could take years off your life, but this is ridiculous. Merrill Edge, the online brokerage platform by Bank of America, puts a new wrinkle in financial planning with Face Retirement, an online tool that takes your picture via webcam and ages the resulting image. I tried it and was truly horrified when I saw a pasty, desiccated, walrus-jowled face staring back at me. And that's how I look now! I need to get out in the sun more. In 61 years time, when I'm 107, I'll resemble a cross between Boris Karloff and moldy paint, according to the app. On the plus side, I'll still have my hair. Psyched! We're also treated to projections for future goods and services. For example, in 2073, a gallon of gas will apparently cost $29.52. Glad to see the price will be coming down! Seeing one's decrepit future self supposedly inspires folks to save in the present. Not me. My retirement plan is a sock filled with quarters which I use to mug rich people. Thanks anyway, Merrill Edge! Via Wired.
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